Death is a great leveller. Rich, poor, famous, average Joe - All kinds of people have to face one thing - Their own death.
My uncle, whom I greatly admired for his will power in getting things done and who I had a close relationship with, passed away recently.
I am sad about his death. He was in his 70's and he had helped a lot of my relatives with their personal problems including my own family. He was a man of great will power, was very organized in life and a stickler to his routine. He has helped and inspired a lot of people I know.
I understand that death happens to everyone. I believe in life after death. I believe that death is to the body and not to the soul. My belief in this has recently strengthened due to a few out of body experiences I have had. I believe my uncle has passed on to another realm, another place, another time. My prayers to him, that he be happy and joyful wherever he is.
Death of some one we know reminds us that we have finite time on earth.
Every moment is precious. Let us use every moment towards what we really wish to do in life. Towards our highest idea of what we think is a life worth living. Towards our greatest desires. Towards our greatest love. For there is not a minute to spare and we know not when death can come knocking.
If I were to live as if today was my last, I would have no regrets passing away tomorrow - I would have enjoyed my stay on earth and perhaps it was time for me to move on.
Let us therefore enjoy our stay on earth, devoting our efforts and time towards what we love doing in life whether that be research, music, hiking or one of the gazillion things one can do while on earth.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
What are you truly capable of?
Have you thought of this question? You used to eh, but experiences brought you down to earth. Life hasn't been so kind, eh?
A while back this happened to me too.. Experiences dashed my expectations.. totally devastated my aspirations. I went through a period of introspection, a reality check basically. I regrouped my self (literally), assessed my situation and decided that
giving in my best in whatever I do is the best thing to do.
'I will give in my best. It doesn't matter what I am doing. Give in your best. opportunities will come knocking. Keep giving in your best.' Well, yes this policy did help me out. I am on a new path right now having steered clear of my old self, old life, old surroundings. Life is uncertain, but I am beginning to accept that.
When you are an undergraduate, you are in a secure, protective cocoon. You feel you are invincible, that life is going to be smooth sailing when you graduate. No my dear, no. Life isn't smooth sailing. Life is about being smooth during rough sailing.
Life rocks your boat, but you got to maintain your calm. You got to be an unaffected observer. Life teaches you through experiences. Every calamity in life, every miserable moment in life is indicating something. It is upto you to introspect, investigate that misery and come to a new understanding of what works and what doesn't. The sooner you do that, the sooner you learn.. your lessons. And then it's smooth sailing for a while, until you get rocked again. But this time, you are quicker in learning the lesson... noticing a pattern to the experiences..A high always is followed by a low and vice-versa. The bigger the high, the deeper the low.
And this understanding changes your character, slowly but gradually. You realize the importance of equanimity..you place a high emphasis on being equanimous. You recognize that equanimity is a deadly weapon, a powerful tool to handle all that life throws at you. Through equanimity, you realize that life hasn't be throwing the kitchen sink at you as you imagined.. you realize that life has actually blessed you with cleansing opportunities... experiences that force you to clear the old and bring in the new.
Ok, we went off on a tangent or a secant there, it was hard not to. Let's get back to the original intent of the post. 'What are you truly capable of?'
Being a dreamer that I am, I ask myself these questions once in a while. I think it doesn't help being a dreamer. Why? Because, I think what you are actually, truly capable of in life goes beyond imagination. But dreaming does help me get atleast one light-year close to what I am truly capable of. I recognize that dreaming is not enough. Dreams need to be translated to reality. Well, this isn't something new, as you might concur. All technology that we use today was dreamt by some great dreamer.
But the dreamer also converted his dreams into reality. That's what we should aim for. We should first dream up the great person within us, whom we are yet to experience and then we convert that dream to reality - That is we become that great person, that humble albeit astounding personality, that equanimous character who lead by her/his example, that leader who left an indelible footprint on the sands of time. We dream, we become. We dream, we become. So on and on.. until infinity. Welcome to the game.. called life.
A while back this happened to me too.. Experiences dashed my expectations.. totally devastated my aspirations. I went through a period of introspection, a reality check basically. I regrouped my self (literally), assessed my situation and decided that
giving in my best in whatever I do is the best thing to do.
'I will give in my best. It doesn't matter what I am doing. Give in your best. opportunities will come knocking. Keep giving in your best.' Well, yes this policy did help me out. I am on a new path right now having steered clear of my old self, old life, old surroundings. Life is uncertain, but I am beginning to accept that.
When you are an undergraduate, you are in a secure, protective cocoon. You feel you are invincible, that life is going to be smooth sailing when you graduate. No my dear, no. Life isn't smooth sailing. Life is about being smooth during rough sailing.
Life rocks your boat, but you got to maintain your calm. You got to be an unaffected observer. Life teaches you through experiences. Every calamity in life, every miserable moment in life is indicating something. It is upto you to introspect, investigate that misery and come to a new understanding of what works and what doesn't. The sooner you do that, the sooner you learn.. your lessons. And then it's smooth sailing for a while, until you get rocked again. But this time, you are quicker in learning the lesson... noticing a pattern to the experiences..A high always is followed by a low and vice-versa. The bigger the high, the deeper the low.
And this understanding changes your character, slowly but gradually. You realize the importance of equanimity..you place a high emphasis on being equanimous. You recognize that equanimity is a deadly weapon, a powerful tool to handle all that life throws at you. Through equanimity, you realize that life hasn't be throwing the kitchen sink at you as you imagined.. you realize that life has actually blessed you with cleansing opportunities... experiences that force you to clear the old and bring in the new.
Ok, we went off on a tangent or a secant there, it was hard not to. Let's get back to the original intent of the post. 'What are you truly capable of?'
Being a dreamer that I am, I ask myself these questions once in a while. I think it doesn't help being a dreamer. Why? Because, I think what you are actually, truly capable of in life goes beyond imagination. But dreaming does help me get atleast one light-year close to what I am truly capable of. I recognize that dreaming is not enough. Dreams need to be translated to reality. Well, this isn't something new, as you might concur. All technology that we use today was dreamt by some great dreamer.
But the dreamer also converted his dreams into reality. That's what we should aim for. We should first dream up the great person within us, whom we are yet to experience and then we convert that dream to reality - That is we become that great person, that humble albeit astounding personality, that equanimous character who lead by her/his example, that leader who left an indelible footprint on the sands of time. We dream, we become. We dream, we become. So on and on.. until infinity. Welcome to the game.. called life.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Passed the qualifiers
It wasn't a piece of cake but it wasn't very tough either. It was just Loooooong.
I am glad I am done with it.
One step at a time.
Onward ho!
In life.
I am glad I am done with it.
One step at a time.
Onward ho!
In life.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Night out cycle - phd comics
I used to do this sometime back (I mean the last 2 years). Thankfully, I stopped this 4 months back.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Positive definite matrices and quadratic minimization
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Lessons from the teaching assistantship experience
I. Introduction
I have been a teaching assistant in udub for about 2 quarters (including this one) and I find it to be a rewarding experience and a continual learning experience too. My job is to hold quiz sections twice every week where I go over examples to better explain concepts from the lectures and also give students some practice problems. I also help out with some grading. Believe me, this is not an easy job at all but at the same time it is a fulfilling and creative job. When you develop new, ingenious ways to communicate ideas and concepts to students and they "GET IT", that's awesome - that's why its fulfilling, that very feeling of having given your all into the job gives you back a feeling of fullness.
II. Key elements
From my limited experience , the key elements I have found for a successful quiz section are:
1) Know the content thoroughly and anticipate potential questions: You have already taken the course you are TAing, that's why you are qualified to be a teaching assistant. But knowing the concepts on the surface isn't enough, you got to be able to explain them, analyse them from all angles, think of potential questions students might come up with and see if you can answer them comfortably. To be able to explain content requires different preparation than just knowing the content and hence sufficient effort needs to be put in here depending on your knowledge of the subject.
2) Get to know the students, atleast their names: This is important, since your ideal quiz section is one where students are involved in it and find it interesting and useful. Knowing their names makes it easier to engage them and increases their participation in the quiz section. Eye contact is also important, you need to make them feel comfortable. These things come easily for some people who are more sociable than others. I am more of an ambivert and hence had to put some effort to get this connection thing going.
3) Make the quiz section interesting: Depending on the composition of the class, students may or may not be able to follow the class easily. If they follow the class easily, they would expect more than other students, who would be content with practicing problems related to the homework or quizzes. I try to bring in one or two examples from outside the book that the students can relate to, find interesting, and also helps their understanding of the concepts.
Cracking a joke or two now and then will also help lighten up the mood.
Variety is the spice of life, but it can also spice up the quiz section. This is something that keeps me interested too. I try out different things every quiz section, see if it works and imbibe it into my "teaching model" if it does.
4) Organize the quiz section well and incorporate time management:
Organizing or structuring the quiz section well gives the students a good idea of what's coming next, sets expectations (which isn't necessarily a great thing) and keeps them involved. Last quarter I was always on time for my quiz sections. But this quarter, I need to wake up by 7am and go to the quiz sections by 8:30am. I have had problems with the bus not coming on time and traffic signal delays. So basically, I don't have a time-window for uncertainities such as delays. It's good to be efficient but not at the cost of coming to quiz sections late every now and then. So I realized that early and am catching an earlier bus that gives me enough breathing time before I begin my quiz section.
It's also good to have a schedule of what you are going to do when during the quiz section, so that the quiz sections are efficient and the students get more out of it. Ofcourse, you have to decide the level of efficiency since being too efficient might come at the cost of rushing through the quiz section.
So that's a good summary of what I think has helped me out in the quiz sections.
III. Challenges
1) It has not been easy at all as I mentioned earlier. I wasn't given an agenda of what's to be done in the quiz section last quarter. A few examples and asking students to work out problems was what I was told. You know, just following those instructions isn't going to give you the greatest quiz section at all. When you realize that, your learning process begins. You begin experimenting, infact what you are doing is you are researching your teaching skills through experimentation!! Isn't that wonderful to be able to research your teaching skills on the fly, without reading any papers!
2) Feedback from students was my main motivation for improving the quiz section. Ofcourse, I would get feedback from students even when I didn't ask for it and sometimes, in a rude manner. Dealing with such cases was also a challenge.
3) The main challenge I would say is coming up with a basic, working, "quiz section model" that is good as it is, but can be improvized. That working model, is what I have described in the second section above.
I have been a teaching assistant in udub for about 2 quarters (including this one) and I find it to be a rewarding experience and a continual learning experience too. My job is to hold quiz sections twice every week where I go over examples to better explain concepts from the lectures and also give students some practice problems. I also help out with some grading. Believe me, this is not an easy job at all but at the same time it is a fulfilling and creative job. When you develop new, ingenious ways to communicate ideas and concepts to students and they "GET IT", that's awesome - that's why its fulfilling, that very feeling of having given your all into the job gives you back a feeling of fullness.
II. Key elements
From my limited experience , the key elements I have found for a successful quiz section are:
1) Know the content thoroughly and anticipate potential questions: You have already taken the course you are TAing, that's why you are qualified to be a teaching assistant. But knowing the concepts on the surface isn't enough, you got to be able to explain them, analyse them from all angles, think of potential questions students might come up with and see if you can answer them comfortably. To be able to explain content requires different preparation than just knowing the content and hence sufficient effort needs to be put in here depending on your knowledge of the subject.
2) Get to know the students, atleast their names: This is important, since your ideal quiz section is one where students are involved in it and find it interesting and useful. Knowing their names makes it easier to engage them and increases their participation in the quiz section. Eye contact is also important, you need to make them feel comfortable. These things come easily for some people who are more sociable than others. I am more of an ambivert and hence had to put some effort to get this connection thing going.
3) Make the quiz section interesting: Depending on the composition of the class, students may or may not be able to follow the class easily. If they follow the class easily, they would expect more than other students, who would be content with practicing problems related to the homework or quizzes. I try to bring in one or two examples from outside the book that the students can relate to, find interesting, and also helps their understanding of the concepts.
Cracking a joke or two now and then will also help lighten up the mood.
Variety is the spice of life, but it can also spice up the quiz section. This is something that keeps me interested too. I try out different things every quiz section, see if it works and imbibe it into my "teaching model" if it does.
4) Organize the quiz section well and incorporate time management:
Organizing or structuring the quiz section well gives the students a good idea of what's coming next, sets expectations (which isn't necessarily a great thing) and keeps them involved. Last quarter I was always on time for my quiz sections. But this quarter, I need to wake up by 7am and go to the quiz sections by 8:30am. I have had problems with the bus not coming on time and traffic signal delays. So basically, I don't have a time-window for uncertainities such as delays. It's good to be efficient but not at the cost of coming to quiz sections late every now and then. So I realized that early and am catching an earlier bus that gives me enough breathing time before I begin my quiz section.
It's also good to have a schedule of what you are going to do when during the quiz section, so that the quiz sections are efficient and the students get more out of it. Ofcourse, you have to decide the level of efficiency since being too efficient might come at the cost of rushing through the quiz section.
So that's a good summary of what I think has helped me out in the quiz sections.
III. Challenges
1) It has not been easy at all as I mentioned earlier. I wasn't given an agenda of what's to be done in the quiz section last quarter. A few examples and asking students to work out problems was what I was told. You know, just following those instructions isn't going to give you the greatest quiz section at all. When you realize that, your learning process begins. You begin experimenting, infact what you are doing is you are researching your teaching skills through experimentation!! Isn't that wonderful to be able to research your teaching skills on the fly, without reading any papers!
2) Feedback from students was my main motivation for improving the quiz section. Ofcourse, I would get feedback from students even when I didn't ask for it and sometimes, in a rude manner. Dealing with such cases was also a challenge.
3) The main challenge I would say is coming up with a basic, working, "quiz section model" that is good as it is, but can be improvized. That working model, is what I have described in the second section above.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
kamalambal bhajare
Amazing muthuswamy dikshitar composition and beautiful rendition by Mandolin Srinivas. Listen to it here.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The "Clicking problem" in laptops (mine's a Dell)
Does your laptop "click" incessantly when you are doing even mildly intensive work such as opening documents or running a small software?
Does your laptop "beep" every minute or two when it's idle (This problem might be exclusive to dell laptops).
Well this problem has got to do with your hard-drive's power saving features (unless your os starts to crash - Then it might be a mother board problem). If your computer's pretty ok except for the "incessant clicking and ocassional beeps", do visit this forumpage.
It gives you a step by step procedure to minimize the noise due to those "clicks".
To summarize the solution in the forum page:
1) Install Microsoft .net 2.0 version from here. If you have an earlier version of .net, uninstall it before installing version 2.
2) Install NHC (Network Hardware Control) from here. Note: users of Dell laptops such as Dell Vostro, Dell Inspiron, etc use the Dell bug fix version on the same page. The other version would give you an error when you try to install it.
3) Run the installed NHC 2.0.
4) You should see an icon to the left of your desktop icons that looks like a big battery.
5) Double click the icon.
6) In the window that just appeared select the Settings tab
7) Click Show all NHC options and settings
8) Now select the Hard Disk tab, and under Advanced Power Management select the highest setting: Max. Peformance Mode
Voila ~ you are done!
Now you can enjoy blissful sleep when your laptop is idle(a.k.a those painful beeps vanish). Also, if you want to work in a very quiet place, the "incessant clickings" would become incessant whispers that are hardly noticeable.
Enjoy the peace and be peaceful :-)
Does your laptop "beep" every minute or two when it's idle (This problem might be exclusive to dell laptops).
Well this problem has got to do with your hard-drive's power saving features (unless your os starts to crash - Then it might be a mother board problem). If your computer's pretty ok except for the "incessant clicking and ocassional beeps", do visit this forumpage.
It gives you a step by step procedure to minimize the noise due to those "clicks".
To summarize the solution in the forum page:
1) Install Microsoft .net 2.0 version from here. If you have an earlier version of .net, uninstall it before installing version 2.
2) Install NHC (Network Hardware Control) from here. Note: users of Dell laptops such as Dell Vostro, Dell Inspiron, etc use the Dell bug fix version on the same page. The other version would give you an error when you try to install it.
3) Run the installed NHC 2.0.
4) You should see an icon to the left of your desktop icons that looks like a big battery.
5) Double click the icon.
6) In the window that just appeared select the Settings tab
7) Click Show all NHC options and settings
8) Now select the Hard Disk tab, and under Advanced Power Management select the highest setting: Max. Peformance Mode
Voila ~ you are done!
Now you can enjoy blissful sleep when your laptop is idle(a.k.a those painful beeps vanish). Also, if you want to work in a very quiet place, the "incessant clickings" would become incessant whispers that are hardly noticeable.
Enjoy the peace and be peaceful :-)
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Becoming a successful researcher
The following articles address the following questions:
1) What does it mean to do good research?
2) What are the important factors in doing good research?
3) How does one successfully and confidently do a Phd?
4) How important is it to have a good and compatible advisor?
Article1
Article2
Article3
Article4
Other articles on becoming a successful researcher (including problems faced by junior faculty)here.
1) What does it mean to do good research?
2) What are the important factors in doing good research?
3) How does one successfully and confidently do a Phd?
4) How important is it to have a good and compatible advisor?
Article1
Article2
Article3
Article4
Other articles on becoming a successful researcher (including problems faced by junior faculty)here.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
What makes a phd life tick?
This is something that I have been thinking about for quite sometime. Phd life is life lived in 4-5 years. Its been just 1 year so for me in my program and I have had numerous ups and downs. What I have understood is that to come out successfully out of the Phd program there are a few things in non-academic life that need to be taken care off.
Phd life = Academic life (research + a few courses) + Social life (friends) + Some other passion (books/physical activity/music/...). These three components need to be well-balanced for a Phd life to tick. Lets look at these components in detail:
i) If you lose interest in your area of research, its very difficult to continue through a Phd. You may lose interest because you might have had a different concept about what a Phd might be before you began the program. You may lose interest because its a relative thing... you are more interested in working in some other area. You might lose interest because you are tired of the rigors of a Phd program.
ii) You got to have a few close friends you can count on when you need them. It has been my experience that I am immersed in research for one or two weeks, and when I come out of the research world, I am craving for social interaction.
iii) Many times doing research could be frustrating , so you would be looking for some change in your life. This is where an already existing habit or hobby such as book reading or physical activity such as running might prove very useful.
Balance is the key word. All the three components need to be balanced for a smooth ride through the Phd life. Imbalance could lead to minor frustrations or even major episodes (depression, etc).
Phd life = Academic life (research + a few courses) + Social life (friends) + Some other passion (books/physical activity/music/...). These three components need to be well-balanced for a Phd life to tick. Lets look at these components in detail:
i) If you lose interest in your area of research, its very difficult to continue through a Phd. You may lose interest because you might have had a different concept about what a Phd might be before you began the program. You may lose interest because its a relative thing... you are more interested in working in some other area. You might lose interest because you are tired of the rigors of a Phd program.
ii) You got to have a few close friends you can count on when you need them. It has been my experience that I am immersed in research for one or two weeks, and when I come out of the research world, I am craving for social interaction.
iii) Many times doing research could be frustrating , so you would be looking for some change in your life. This is where an already existing habit or hobby such as book reading or physical activity such as running might prove very useful.
Balance is the key word. All the three components need to be balanced for a smooth ride through the Phd life. Imbalance could lead to minor frustrations or even major episodes (depression, etc).
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Motivation
What motivates one to do research. Researchers don't usually see their research or work as 'work'.
I had rather call my research as creative work, since that is actually what I am doing. The motivation in doing research, in being able to stay in the lab throughout the day even during weekends is basically the idea that what you are doing is fun. If something is fun, wouldn't you want to do it all the time.
But even during work, there are periods when you are slumpy and not getting much work done and other periods when you are really really productive. Now, what is the reason for this?
People may call this the 'cycle'. But looked into a little more deeply, it may become clear that productivity is either motivated by deadlines, either set by your advisor or yourself or because you have suddenly entered an interesting phase of research.
Interest in the research area in general is a must, but that alone may not be sufficient, since there is a tendency to get lazy. What's needed is a vision, a vision that is both short-term and long-term. A vision of how you think your research should be unfolding as the time progresses. This vision is essentially a way to set deadlines for yourself, but a vision is something more than that. A vision is a dream that gets lived as time passes by. A vision when 'well-visualised' can be really motivating, since your vision shows you doing great things in the future and you can't wait to get started towards that path. Living a vision or a dream is the best thing that can happen. That's why visions are so powerful and form the basis for a long-term motivation in research.
I had rather call my research as creative work, since that is actually what I am doing. The motivation in doing research, in being able to stay in the lab throughout the day even during weekends is basically the idea that what you are doing is fun. If something is fun, wouldn't you want to do it all the time.
But even during work, there are periods when you are slumpy and not getting much work done and other periods when you are really really productive. Now, what is the reason for this?
People may call this the 'cycle'. But looked into a little more deeply, it may become clear that productivity is either motivated by deadlines, either set by your advisor or yourself or because you have suddenly entered an interesting phase of research.
Interest in the research area in general is a must, but that alone may not be sufficient, since there is a tendency to get lazy. What's needed is a vision, a vision that is both short-term and long-term. A vision of how you think your research should be unfolding as the time progresses. This vision is essentially a way to set deadlines for yourself, but a vision is something more than that. A vision is a dream that gets lived as time passes by. A vision when 'well-visualised' can be really motivating, since your vision shows you doing great things in the future and you can't wait to get started towards that path. Living a vision or a dream is the best thing that can happen. That's why visions are so powerful and form the basis for a long-term motivation in research.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Playing on reality
What is reality? Is it something that is perceived to be real or is it something that is real no matter what?
The question being asked here is whether reality is a function of perception and perspective or is it something that is real whether you look at it or not.
Quantum reality is a reality based on perception, based on an observer and the observed. In quantum reality the observer effects the observed and vice versa. Quantum reality has been found to hold good in the microscopic world, the matter within an atom for example but it has not yet been verified to hold good in the macroscopic world we see and experience.
The reality of the macro-scopic world that we see is based in duality. Duality is the nature of our perceived reality.
There is another reality that can potentially exist. It's called the ultimate reality and ultimate reality is a singularity. The moment just before the big bang would be an example of a singularity.
So when do these realities, namely the quantum reality, the duality based reality and the singularity manifest in our perception and why are we even bothered about these realities? Why is the nature of our world based in duality and what does it mean to experience singularity. To answer these questions, duality must be properly understood.
What is duality? Duality usually refers to pairs of opposites that coexist in a single reality. The good and the bad, the tall and the short, the sweet and the sour, peace and war all exist in the world we see. Why is duality necessary in our world and why can't the world be more singular? That is to say why can't life be always sweet, free of tensions, free of anger and resentment, free of rejection, etc. Well let's say life was more singular in nature. Let's say life was one happy and smooth journey from birth to death. No ups and downs, no crisis, no pressing problems, etc. That is to say life was one happy period. How would you experience your happiness 10 years down the line? It would become mundane.
Someone asks you, how are you? You would say, "Ah.. the same old. I am happy...and it sucks". That is to say, to enjoy happiness, you must first know what it means to be sad and depressed. Only then will the joy of happiness be fully felt and experienced.
We all like dramas don't we. The good and bad, the happiness and sorrow all in one big drama.
Life and dramas have many things in common including their basis in duality. Life has also been described by many as a magnificent and never-ending drama. Only that, you are a part of that drama along with your co-actors that include your family, friends and others you interact with during your life.
So that sort of gives a hypothesis on the need for duality in our present reality. Now moving on to ultimate reality. What is it and what does it look like?
The question being asked here is whether reality is a function of perception and perspective or is it something that is real whether you look at it or not.
Quantum reality is a reality based on perception, based on an observer and the observed. In quantum reality the observer effects the observed and vice versa. Quantum reality has been found to hold good in the microscopic world, the matter within an atom for example but it has not yet been verified to hold good in the macroscopic world we see and experience.
The reality of the macro-scopic world that we see is based in duality. Duality is the nature of our perceived reality.
There is another reality that can potentially exist. It's called the ultimate reality and ultimate reality is a singularity. The moment just before the big bang would be an example of a singularity.
So when do these realities, namely the quantum reality, the duality based reality and the singularity manifest in our perception and why are we even bothered about these realities? Why is the nature of our world based in duality and what does it mean to experience singularity. To answer these questions, duality must be properly understood.
What is duality? Duality usually refers to pairs of opposites that coexist in a single reality. The good and the bad, the tall and the short, the sweet and the sour, peace and war all exist in the world we see. Why is duality necessary in our world and why can't the world be more singular? That is to say why can't life be always sweet, free of tensions, free of anger and resentment, free of rejection, etc. Well let's say life was more singular in nature. Let's say life was one happy and smooth journey from birth to death. No ups and downs, no crisis, no pressing problems, etc. That is to say life was one happy period. How would you experience your happiness 10 years down the line? It would become mundane.
Someone asks you, how are you? You would say, "Ah.. the same old. I am happy...and it sucks". That is to say, to enjoy happiness, you must first know what it means to be sad and depressed. Only then will the joy of happiness be fully felt and experienced.
We all like dramas don't we. The good and bad, the happiness and sorrow all in one big drama.
Life and dramas have many things in common including their basis in duality. Life has also been described by many as a magnificent and never-ending drama. Only that, you are a part of that drama along with your co-actors that include your family, friends and others you interact with during your life.
So that sort of gives a hypothesis on the need for duality in our present reality. Now moving on to ultimate reality. What is it and what does it look like?
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Frustration
I know what to do. How to do it is not a problem, atleast not a big problem. But am I doing it? That is the whole problem. The coming two months are really crucial to my career and am I doing anything about it. Its all well to say that things are really fuzzy, its all well to blame others, blame the situation, etc. But the least productive thing that can be done is to be productive in work. Amidst all the chaos, if I can bring about some consistent and concerted work, that should see me through this mess, through any mess actually. Because that's the only way out.
Focus on the essential things and leave the details to work it out by themselves, or work on it once the essentials are out of the way. This is to be done because a man's perspective is always limited, so it needs to be focussed on things that are of concern, lest he/she gets lost in the details.
Focus on the essential things and leave the details to work it out by themselves, or work on it once the essentials are out of the way. This is to be done because a man's perspective is always limited, so it needs to be focussed on things that are of concern, lest he/she gets lost in the details.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
PDL C-401
This is the place where the optimization seminar is held every tuesday at UW. Today I had my camera in hand, the reason being the speaker - Dmitri Bertsekas.
The camera also served another purpose: The view of UW and beyond from this place is awesome...
The camera also served another purpose: The view of UW and beyond from this place is awesome...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
A sequencing problem
Found this problem in one of the orkut puzzles community. Though not a real tough problem, I found the solution to be interesting.
The problem is to find the next number in the sequence:
16 , 176 , 552 , 1312 , 2360 , 3504, ?
If you find the solution to the above problem interesting enough, I thought of a similar problem but with added complexity that might be worth trying out..
92, 440, 300, 1309, 728, 1360, ?
The problem is to find the next number in the sequence:
16 , 176 , 552 , 1312 , 2360 , 3504, ?
If you find the solution to the above problem interesting enough, I thought of a similar problem but with added complexity that might be worth trying out..
92, 440, 300, 1309, 728, 1360, ?
Monday, May 21, 2007
Nostalgia
I woke up at 9 pm today (night out the previous day), went through some interesting concepts from the book 'Elementary Probability' by David Stirzaker for about 3 hrs. Remembered that I was hungry and looked out the window to see that it was raining, as it usually does in Seattle. At this moment I was reminded of my life back at IITM where I had done similar crazy things. If this were my hostel room, I just had to cycle another 200 metres to reach gurunath which would have been closing at this moment.
I would have bought the milka cake or a similar cake along with one or two packets of mug noodles (its cold and raining outside, so I figure it would be nice to have something hot).
On the way back, I would have met a friend from Saras proceeding back to his hostel. I start farting with him on some worthless topic and that takes me to his room. I meet two more guys and we start talking about strategies in Quake and AOE and in the next moment we talk about how our 4th year is so different from the other 3 years we have spent in IIT. Muggus during the first two years, many change gears in the 3rd and 4th year, having found a way to beat the system. Now, my friend is in a mood to crash and starts driving junta away from the room.
"Macha, I have to crash da. I have a quiz tomorrow and I don't even know the portion for the quiz. So junta deesh." He says. I look at the time and see that its 4 am now.
I am halfway through my day, another 3 hrs and I would be sleeping comfortably on my bed with the windows wide open and the cool breeze, an after effect of the thunderstorm would linger around in my room. Ah.. that scent. After spending another 2 hrs in my room mugging for the same quiz my friend has no clue about, I decide to take a walk toward the stadium. I have fond memories of the stadium, the place where I spent almost every evening running 10 -15 laps during my 3rd year in the hopes of getting into the inter-iit team. Now, I notice that the day is just breaking out and despite the ground being wet and slushy, the freshness of the mist laden air captures my imagination. I am rooted at the same spot for a few more minutes as I contemplate my existence, my dreams, my victories and my losses. Moments like these make me look at life from an abstract, philosophical angle.
Meanwhile, I realize I am hungry again. I call my friend from Saras. He apparently crashed for 2 hrs and now is mugging for the quiz. We decide to head out to Hot Chips, an eat out just outside IIT. They are just opening up for the day and I order hot idly vada, pongal and filter kaapi. My friend orders masala dosa and coffee.
Nothing like having a full meal before you sleep during the day. We head back to our hostels, my friend to continue his mugging and I to enjoy my sleep for the few hours I can before the quiz.
I would have bought the milka cake or a similar cake along with one or two packets of mug noodles (its cold and raining outside, so I figure it would be nice to have something hot).
On the way back, I would have met a friend from Saras proceeding back to his hostel. I start farting with him on some worthless topic and that takes me to his room. I meet two more guys and we start talking about strategies in Quake and AOE and in the next moment we talk about how our 4th year is so different from the other 3 years we have spent in IIT. Muggus during the first two years, many change gears in the 3rd and 4th year, having found a way to beat the system. Now, my friend is in a mood to crash and starts driving junta away from the room.
"Macha, I have to crash da. I have a quiz tomorrow and I don't even know the portion for the quiz. So junta deesh." He says. I look at the time and see that its 4 am now.
I am halfway through my day, another 3 hrs and I would be sleeping comfortably on my bed with the windows wide open and the cool breeze, an after effect of the thunderstorm would linger around in my room. Ah.. that scent. After spending another 2 hrs in my room mugging for the same quiz my friend has no clue about, I decide to take a walk toward the stadium. I have fond memories of the stadium, the place where I spent almost every evening running 10 -15 laps during my 3rd year in the hopes of getting into the inter-iit team. Now, I notice that the day is just breaking out and despite the ground being wet and slushy, the freshness of the mist laden air captures my imagination. I am rooted at the same spot for a few more minutes as I contemplate my existence, my dreams, my victories and my losses. Moments like these make me look at life from an abstract, philosophical angle.
Meanwhile, I realize I am hungry again. I call my friend from Saras. He apparently crashed for 2 hrs and now is mugging for the quiz. We decide to head out to Hot Chips, an eat out just outside IIT. They are just opening up for the day and I order hot idly vada, pongal and filter kaapi. My friend orders masala dosa and coffee.
Nothing like having a full meal before you sleep during the day. We head back to our hostels, my friend to continue his mugging and I to enjoy my sleep for the few hours I can before the quiz.
Snapping back to reality, I realize I have two assigments due tomorrow and I am yet to make progress. Now it's 3 am, and the day has just begun.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The story of a grad student - 1
"I really am floating in indecision. I like that phrase, I bet no one.....". "Bhaaaaaaskar", called out someone interrupting Bhaskar's thought flow and inducing an irritation in him. He was already pained with the way his life and research was headed and wanted to be left alone. But no.. Vani had spotted him proceeding out of the university and there he was waving to her. He waited as she half-hopped, half-walked the steps of the Information systems building and accosted him with a smile. Ah...that smile, it was a little silly but a really warm one at, that he thought. Bhaskar had known Vani for a few months. There were few Indians at the Texas A and M univesity (TAMU) and Indians generally got more friendly with each other here than back in India. "But what I really like about this is that I can...". "Hi...", you look serious, are you thinking about something?
"Hi..yeah", replied Bhaskar.
"So where are you going?", asked Vani
"I am headed to the ave to have lunch. What about you?"replied Bhaskar
"I am also going out there" said Vani.
Bhaskar thought Vani was acting out a bit strange, atleast a bit strange to him. Bhaskar didn't mind female company but he wasn't looking forward to it in a big way either. He had had a few unsuccessful relationships and that had left him cautious and a tad bit bitter. He wanted things to happen naturally and he definitely didn't want to force relationships. I am not despo, I got plenty of time, he thought.
"Hi..yeah", replied Bhaskar.
"So where are you going?", asked Vani
"I am headed to the ave to have lunch. What about you?"replied Bhaskar
"I am also going out there" said Vani.
Bhaskar thought Vani was acting out a bit strange, atleast a bit strange to him. Bhaskar didn't mind female company but he wasn't looking forward to it in a big way either. He had had a few unsuccessful relationships and that had left him cautious and a tad bit bitter. He wanted things to happen naturally and he definitely didn't want to force relationships. I am not despo, I got plenty of time, he thought.
To be continued....
P.S. I appreciate comments and feedback. So bring them on...
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